My Fat Fat Finger (An Epic Poem)

T'was an old rainy day,

On the seventh of September,

T'was the day when my finger,

Nearly got dismembered.

It was epic on that night,

When I knocked that frisbee under.
My hand it smashed into the ground,
And the pain did start like thunder.

The pain began to surge,

As the players stared in wonder.

"How does he do it?"
They said to one another,
"Does he have some sort of secret?
Or some sort of expertise?"
I calmly smiled down at them and said
"Noblesse Oblige."

"Of course I have a secret,
And also expertise!
But then again I'm humble,
And do so as I please."

Then they asked me something else,
Which slipped right through my head,
It made no contact with my brain,
So I just bowed and said...

(chorus)
There's a little pain in everybody's life,
But there's much to gain in every passing strife,
So don't give up and keep on while I linger,
To tell you all about my fat, fat finger.

(musical interlude)

My teammates flocked around me,
They showered me with praise.
My hand was quite sore from the play,
But pain did not me phase. 

I bravely met each teammate's hand,
With one warm clap from mine,
But then I saw the truth,
As I reached the end of line.

My hand it was as red as blood,
My fingers filled with pain,
I strove to make the aching cease,
But the throbbing still remained.

And now the saddest part of all,
I played again that night,
But since my left hand was quite swelled,
I used naught but my right.
It did not make all that much difference,
But I admit that I,
Was just a little frightened,
That my fingers- they might die.

It was my middle finger,
On my poor old left hand sad,
It swelled up like a great balloon,
And made my nerves quite mad.
So when I finally reached my home,
I wrapped it up in ice,
I wrote a post one-handed,
And I clamped it in a vice.

That last line was of course a joke,
I did not clamp my finger,
Instead I put myself to bed,
And slept there with my finger.

This all seems strange to you I think,
But it happened in September,
And now if you'd but lend your ear,
I think you would remember.

(chorus 2)
That there's a little pain in everybody's life,
But there's much to gain in every passing strife,
So don't give up and keep on while I linger,
To tell you all about my fat fat finger.